In Which I Offer Some Humble Suggestions for a Certain Displaced Governor

Those of you among my loyal readers who live in Illinois are probably already aware of the shenanigans of our ex-governor, Rod Blagojevich. And actually, even those of you who live elsewhere are most likely aware, as he has been a laughingstock since his removal from office in January.

Well, he has now reached new heights of absurdity. Blagojevich--a man who really seems to want us to take him seriously--petitioned a judge to let him leave the country.

Not so absurd, you may say?

Think again. The man who led the state of Illinois just three short months ago wanted to go to Costa Rica...to be on the reality show, "I'm a Celebrity...Get Me Out of Here!" Sadly, the judge decided today that he would not be allowed to leave the country.

To be honest, I'm a little disappointed that we won't be able to see him engage in the kinds of humiliating stunts performed by such notable celebs as Downtown Julie Brown and Melissa Rivers. However, maybe this doesn't have to be the end of Rod's reality show dreams. For his consideration:

• Big Brother: A special version just for Illinois governors, Big Brother in the Big House.
• American Idol: He can sing like a canary, and perhaps make a deal with the prosecutors.
• Solitary: If nothing else, it would be good practice.
• The Apprentice: Hey, the guy can sell a Senate seat--I'm sure he'll do just fine hawking whatever Trump's got in the works.
• Dancing with the Stars: But only if he could partner with Jude Law...because nobody dances around the Law like Blagojevich.