Dear Management

Dear Management,

Thanks for the festive $5 Starbucks gift card. Given that I have worked something like 80 to 100 hours of overtime in the last four weeks, that means you value my time at approximately 5¢ per hour. Except that I'm pretty sure the people who can't do a damn thing right and leave the office at 3pm got the same thing. So I guess that pretty much reduces your perceived value of my time to 0.

Good to know.

Regards,
Kate

Performance Evaluation

Dear Performance Evaluation,

I hate you. Your only purpose in life is to give management an "official" reason for divvying up the raises however they have already decided to divvy them. I know how I'm doing, my boss knows how I'm doing, and I know what she thinks of how I'm doing. If any of that weren't the case, there would be a much bigger issue than could be solved by my rating myself from 1 to 5 on a bunch of random qualities. I know you are here to stay, but that doesn't mean I have to like you, especially when I have to stay two hours late to finish you.

Bitterly yours,
Kate